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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Backpedaling Israel Defends Airstrike

Israel released the following public statement to defend their strategic decision to airstrike Beirut, Lebanon without warning:


(click to enlarge photo)




Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Up-Close & Personal with Iraq

Iraq takes the time to chat with The Broadcast Notebook to clear the air surrounding the nation's recent election:

Iraq's general elections were held on March 7, what does this mean for your nation in regards to an emerging democracy?
This means that my nation is taking the proper steps in the right direction leading into a country that will hopefully be over all stable.


How is the 2010 election different from that of 2005?
The main difference is that the 2005 election was based on a closed list system. This meant the voter knew the parties included in the list but not the individual candidates.
In the 2010 election the open list system means voters know the names and identities of candidates in the list they are voting for. This system allows the voter to express their preference for a candidate within that list.


Is there a mechanism to ensure that Iraqi women are fairly represented?
Of course there is, Iraq has female representitives that make 25% of the 325 seats in the Iraqi paraliment.


Is the US overseeing these elections?
The US is merely supporting the Iraqi government when requested. The election was led, funded, and managed by the Iraqi government.


Do you believe that the US -or Western Influence in general- have a place in Iraq?
There is absolutely no place for Western Influence in not just Iraq, but the middle east in a whole.




Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Is a Democratic Future on the Iraqi Horizon?

Iraq presented the following statement at day 2 of the world open debates regarding their recent election results and calls for a re-count:


"As you all know, Iraq’s election was held on March 7th of this year. There was a recount due to the results; they showed little change in political attitudes and loyalties. Although the citizens of my country voted based on ethnicity instead of party, this is a giant step for Iraq, and potentially the entire middle east. Iraq is beginning to control its own security which means the 'generous' help from western countries is soon to be no longer needed and they will be leaving my country in the near future. It is being hoped if not wished that fellow middle east countries will follow Iraq’s lead. If not for democracy, do it for the end of western influence. We have the right to live the way we want. "


An Iraqi delegate has invited The Broadcast Notebook to sit down and speak with her about the recent democratic advances that this small Eastern nation has made and how this election is different from that of 2005. Full interview and details are to be posted tonight.


Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Monday, March 29, 2010

Israel Drops the Bomb... Literally

A shocking statement was released moments ago during Day 2 of the world open debates by Israel:

"At 12:07 pm on Monday March 29th 2010, Israeli forces staged a percision airstrike on Beirut, Lebanon in an attempt to eradicate the terrorist group Hezbollah."


Lebanon, Iran, Syria & Hamas are all devestated by Israel's unexpected attack on the Middle East, and are taking action to ready themselves for the worst. Statements have been released by nations like Syria: "We are ready for war. We are ready to go to battle over the stunt Israel just pulled"

Israel defends their actions, stating that the airstrikes on Beirut were necessary for insuring the saftey of all Israelis "We needed to defend ourselves and prove that we are not a puppet of the US." It has yet to be clarified why Lebanon was a chosen target in place of a more dominant threat such as Iran; only vague rumblings of self-defensive have been released thus far.

The United States refuse to comment on the matter at the moment "I'm not going to pretend that I'm not pissed off, but at the moment we will not disclose a decision"

More information on the topic is to come as the story develops further, but if the barbaric screaming match during today's debate is any indication of what's to come, the world, and the idealist concept of peace as we know, it are in grave danger.


Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Quotes from Day 1 of Open Debates

The following quotes were taken from Day 1 of the open debates, which kicked off on Tuesday of last week. Nations gathered with their questions in tow, ready to grill one another on the issues and viewpoints that plague international relations as they stand.



USA
“Are we threatened by Iran? Yes, absolutely, that is why our military is going there.”

“If Israel continues to defy us, then some of our funding is going to be pulled out”

“We will stand by Israel”

“How is our war with the Taliban going? Obviously not good.”

“Your organization is terrorist, you tell me...” – Obama to Hamas RE: progress with the war on terror

“If you want to point fingers as to why peaceful negotiations don’t work, then yes USA is to blame.” RE:Israel-Palestine conflict

“Unfortunately, there is no ideal solution, but despite all of the issues, you NEED us. Without us there, you would revert to the dark ages.” – re: USA’s involvement in the Middle East

“If Israel builds a dog house in West Bank, would we penalize them? No.”



Iran

“I am angry that the IAEA and USA are telling Iran to close their nuclear program when Israel has been doing worse than us all along,”

“I want their meddling hands OUT!” – Re: USA involvement in Iran

“I am prepared for war,” - to USA

“I never said that my plans would be peaceful, but they will resolve in peace.”




Fatah

“How do we know you’re not using the Palestine war as a cover-up for your own nuclear agenda?” - to Iran

“Fact of the matter is, Jerusalem is our capital, not yours.” – To Israel




North Korea

“If you’re threatening me then you must be in a position to go to war with me,” – to USA

“Well what have you done to help Fatah, Oh right... Nothing.” - to Fatah




Canada

“You don’t have the claims to the Arctic that you think you do.” – to Russia

“We’re building military ships... Not like canoes, but legitimate, armed ships!” RE: plans to fortify the arctic

“The ultimate goal here is peace, and as Canadian as that sounds, it’s true, and everyone sitting here wants it,”

“What we said at the meeting before was uneducated and unimportant.” RE: previous arctic sovereignty meeting

“We’re helping you a lot, so please just follow our rules” – to Israel RE: Jerusalem construction



Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Press Conference in Review

No issue was off limits at Yesterday’s tension-filled press conference. Delegates from around the world gathered to voice their opinions and take the heat of various pointed questions and accusations. All countries were in attendance, save the absence of the small Middle Eastern nation of Jordan. Throughout the conference, most delegates danced skilfully around the issues, avoiding conflict at all costs. Only a select few firmly made their stance known, provoking uproars and bitter scoffs with their statements.

The conference began with a lethargic United States bashing its own administration. When asked to comment on the recently passed health care reform, Vice President Joe Biden`s only response was: "We`re glad that we finally did something... Obama finally did something."

USA also claimed that their main interests now were overseas in the Middle East; mediating conflicts, fighting terrorism, and basically sticking their nose in everyone else’s business. While it’s nice to be concerned in international issues, Obama needs to consider whether they can really afford to be spending so much time and money overseas while the American economy itself is so damaged.

A hot issue throughout the conference was the recent arctic sovereignty dispute between Canada and Russia. Putin made many snide, bitter comments regarding Canada and their incompetence, making sure to reiterate to the world delegates that Russia is a proud nation that will not stop until they have obtained the power that they seek.

Canada’s response was utterly bleak in comparison, as the ‘peaceful-nation-that-could’ proved that they just plainly CAN’T keep up. Canada has made inconsequential plans to fortify their portion of the Arctic, with non-threatening military training facilities and the doe-eyed intimidation of “taking any nation we see as a threat to international court,” Stephen Harper himself even dismissed the legitimacy of his nation’s government & power as he was quoted in saying: “A new and hopefully more stable government will come to power if they vote against our minority.” Harper plainly conceded that his minority government is non-threatening as he has no decision making ability, and he should, in fact, be overthrown. With an attitude like this, it is a wonder that Russia has not raised a flag atop of the Canadian parliament buildings yet!

Of course, tensions between Israel and Palestine were nearly tangible as the respective delegates sat staring daggers at each other across the room. Iran broke the silence as Israel sat down, “Aren’t those seats reserved for countries?” Iran continued to explain its disdain for Israel -or occupied Palestine- using elaborate metaphors to disguise the inherent threats they were making: “We’ve allowed this massive tree to sink its roots into Palestine land & absorb all of its water and nutrients, but beware; a storm is comming soon, and this storm WILL take down this tree.”

Israel was no better with President Shimon Peres practically advertising that they have nuclear weapons, and are willing to use them if the situation calls for it. “If a country comes out with nuclear weapons , we should too” and “Trying to gain nuclear power is a must right now.”

In other news, India shocked its alliance with Israel by singing songs of empathy to Palestine. Israel urges India to remember their strong relationship, and Israel claims to be “deeply hurt and surprised by this sudden alliance.”

China tactfully evades any questions of impending hegemony as they defend their nation’s conduct. China seems to have a different definition of the word ‘genocide’ and the word ‘stealing’, as they claim that the Sudanese exploitation is not immoral in their eyes, and neither is stealing American innovations. China needs to quit hiding behind the title of “developing country” and own up to their actions, but the obstinacy of their government makes the prospect nearly impossible.

Many words were said in the conference, many statements were remembered. In Today’s open debate we will find out if anyone’s words will come back to haunt them.

Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Saturday, March 13, 2010

Harper Tries to Set the Record Straight



Early this morning, Canada produced a counter-statement to Russia's claim of Arctic possession. Prime Minister Stephen Harper tried to clarify the world & tell them with a Canadian perspective how things really went down at the private meeting between Canada, Russia, and the United States. Harper says that Putin is "greatly exaggerating the amount of land and water that was assigned to them,". He goes on to state that all agreements made at this meeting were mere POTENTIAL claims, not real ones, for nothing was recorded, signed, or finalized. In short, Canada believes that they still hold historic claim of the Arctic, and they are disheartened by Russia's blatant insincerity.

With two opposing viewpoints, and no one stepping up to mediate, it seems we've got oursleves a case of he-said-she-said with no one to believe.

Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Friday, March 12, 2010

Russian Flag Raised on Arctic Ground?



New developments on the race for control of the Arctic's vast petroleum resources:


Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has released a statement yesterday regarding the terms of the arctic trade between themselves, America, and Canada. In a shocking turn of events, it seems that Canada & the USA have relinquished their hold of the Arctic -or at least a portion of the property along the 200 nautical mile line. In return for such a monumental offering, Russia has promised to adhere to their side of the deal, which involves allowing the UN security council to enter Iran in search of nuclear weapons. If Iran refuses such an invasion, or if nuclear weapons are uncovered, Russia promises to cut funding to Iran's nuclear program, which will foreseeably cut all amicable interractions between the two former allies...

In his statement, Putin claims that Russian-American relations are strengthening because of this deal, but some insider sources see this as an overzealous assumption. With Canada already backpedaling, furiously stating that the Russian Prime Minister got his facts wrong & the terms of the Arctic deal were very different, there is no telling what could happen once the USA gets wind of this. Are Russia/US relations really on the up, or will all be lost in translation?


Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Israeli Peace Conference Accomplishes Nothing

Israel`s re-scheduled conflict resolution conference was held yesterday afternoon. With delegates from Egypt, India, Russia, USA, Fatah, Canada, & China all in attendance, it is a wonder that no one pulled a ‘Kim Jong Il' and fell asleep amidst the lethargic discussions. Big words and ideas may have been thrown around from nation to nation but no common resolve was found or even so much as touched upon.

Israel proposed the notion of drastically upping current embargoes on Iran to force them into peace talks. This extreme measure was met with disapproval from various other nation delegates & Israel’s say was lost from there on out. No course of action was decided upon.

The only thing that this conflict resolution conference has solidified is the fact that Israel does NOT hold any real political authority. Israel’s voice is loud, and shrill, and annoying & they get away with it only by hiding behind the USA, but -unbeknownst to Israel- America holds all 52 cards in Israel’s deck. This was proven to the world yesterday as America had the power to abruptly halt Israel’s conference not even 15 minutes in, & replace it with a private arctic meeting of their own, casting a subservient Israel out of the room. Without western support and financial aid, Israel would surely be drowning in this dangerous and hostile world. With this looming power over Israel, we can conclude that unless President Obama is able to step up and push Israel, peace simply will not happen.


Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Fatah & Hamas won't 'Walk the Walk" at Resolution Conference

Earlier this afternoon, Fatah hosted a conference with Egypt and Hamas to discuss the prospects of peace and common ground. With Fatah and Egypt on one side of the table and Hamas’ delegates on the other, the tension in the room nearly had its own heartbeat.

Fatah preached their ideals of shared power and their hopes to end the Gaza conflict. Fatah’s delegates were quoted in saying “We don’t want a case of ‘your land’ and ‘my land’. We want to create something that we can call ‘our land’.” Fatah seems to believe that they must mediate their internal issues with Hamas before either party can even begin to address any conflict with Israel.

Hamas’ reply was resolute in stating that they do not fully trust Fatah and what they stand for -at least not yet. Hamas does not want to hastily make any promises or deals that could wind up impeding their goal of re-gaining Palestinian land. Hamas has stated point blank that they will not negotiate with Fatah until Fatah proves their dedication and expel all Israeli settlements from West Bank.

With Fatah not touching the Israel issue until resolutions are made with Hamas, and Hamas choosing not to resolve until Fatah gives Israel the old heave ho, it seems these nations have once again reached an irritating impasse.

It boils down to the fact that actions speak louder than words. These two nations can conference and discuss as much as they so choose, but not a thing will change until one nation cracks under the stone might of the other. Only one question remains: Who will fold first?



Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Monday, March 8, 2010

Israel Responds to Iran`s Nasr 1 Missiles

The above Statement was just released tonight by the Israeli government in response to last night`s announcement from Iran. Click the picture to enlarge text.

Israel assures that they have taken no military action, and will take none without prior consult from the United States. President Shimon Peres assesses the threat and arrives at the conclusion that Iran as it stands poses no grand threat to Israeli survival. He goes on to demoralize the threat to neary laughable. With confidence, Israel has said that they "guarantee the threat that has been posed against our allies, as well as ourselves, will not escalate into one in which we will have to worry about in the future.”
Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook
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Hamas & Iran Host Chauvinistic Screaming Match


Earlier this afternoon, several world leaders gathered with the intent of acting as Knights of the Round Table, hoping to discuss at length the future of Palestine, the common ideals of peace, the liberation of an oppressed people. Delegates from Saudi Arabia, Syria, Lebanon, China, Fatah, Egypt, Afghanistan, Iraq, and North Korea sat down with Iran & Hamas for a glimpse into Islamic politics, and what they found was no doubt shocking.

The conference began with a few metaphoric Islamic first-pumps, with Iran showboating its representative missile ‘desk ornament’ and Hamas making it clear that in their minds, Israel does not exist. The conference continued thereafter becoming a contest, determining who could yell anti-American obscenities the loudest:

“The western world works with peaceful negotiations, but we are not the western world”
“I consider the USA to be gone. There is just water between Canada & Mexico”
- IRAN


“The influence of the west is overtaking us, get it? They are invaders”.
- HAMAS


“Who the hell do (The USA) think they are?”
- SYRIA


“Screw the US. I will drop a nuke”
- NORTH KOREA


A few nations decided to lend a voice of reason, siding instead with their western allies. Fatah was quoted in saying: “You can’t just say that...The US will see you as a threat, and that’s NOT a good thing”. Fatah, of course, pushing for peace but having their words fall on deaf ears. Lebanon as well spoke up at this point, claiming that “Western Influence is not always a bad thing. It can be positive” This provided the Lebanese delegate with some glances of disapproval from Hamas & Iran’s Leaders, and without doubt, the revoke of any future conference invites.

As the conference wound to a close, it ended in a fashion similar to that in which it began... with Iran talking about its military, Hamas convincing everyone that they are not all terrorists, and Kim Jong Il snickering to himself in a corner. It seems the Middle East will soon be in shambles if these are the keepers of its future.

Kim Jong Il catches some shut-eye while the other delegates debate over the future of the Middle East

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad leaves the confrence with a maniacal smile

Lauren Mascitelli
The Eye Opener
for
The Broadcast Notebook







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Sunday, March 7, 2010

Iran Jumps the Gun with Threats to Israel & Supporters

The completed Nasr 1 short range missile
Dubbed a"piece of magic" by the Iranian Government

The Following statement was just released by Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, the sixth and current President of the Islamic Republic of Iran:


Salam,

The Islamic Republic of Iran would just like to disclose the latest developments of our military. Our two-year project of building short range, highly accurate cruise missiles is complete. We have named this piece of magic 'Nasr 1'. They have the capacity to destroy a target up to 3,000 tons in size. General Ahmad Vahidi has expressed that for now, it would be launched from the surface, however modifications will occur to allow them to be deployed from helicopters and submarines. This development in our military proves that the sanctions on Iran have failed, and that the supporters of Israel have failed at their attempt in oppressing Islam. Today, is a proud day for Iran and Islam, and a frightful day for Israel and their supporters.

Khudahafiz,
Mahmoud Ahmedinejad


Along with boasting the completion of their new military advancements, Ahmedinejad sends a clear message to the Israeli government, in a word stating that Iran is not happy, not insubstantial, and not afraid to utilize their new and accelerated weaponry. The world waits in anticipation and horror for a response from the Israeli leaders. One thing remains clear: "Nasr 1" and all it represents is not to be taken lightly.

Lauren Mascitelli
The Broadcast Notebook.
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